Local Paper Says What?

So since I'm down here I thought I'd read the local paper.  There was an opinion article with an interesting title, so I clicked and read.  I've read it through twice trying to decipher the author's opinion on the issue and looking for a point.

I finally decided that the author wants to issue CCW permits to lawnmowers 

Take a look for yourself if you dare, and let me know if you think I've got this one right.