C'mon Bad Guys

I found this gem of an article over at the Denver Post on the stupidity of action movies.  I picked out my favorite part and tossed it below, but the whole thing is made of awesome sauce.  Clicking the quote gets you the full meal deal.

Five guys with machine guns can destroy everything breakable in a room and not even touch the Hero, who is usually diving behind the couch or something.
The couch — is the theory that the cushions deflect bullets because of all the coins lodged in there? And if he's behind the couch, why are the bad guys shooting the TV and the dishes and the pictures on the wall? And why don't the bad guys find their own couches to crouch behind, instead of standing out in the open hosing down the room with bullets?